I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
