It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
