I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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