wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
