too bad you live with your parents still
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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