Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
