And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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