Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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