he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
