A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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