it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
