I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Your cock deserves a montage
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
