I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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