Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
A+ Viking dick
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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