last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
