The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
