So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
