margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
