You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Oh god it's open bar.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
