Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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