How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Alive.
So much puke
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
