the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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