I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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