Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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