I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
