Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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