I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
