And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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