just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
