How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
