i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
