Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
