I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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