pedialite and red bull = repair kit
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
