So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
