If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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