No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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