I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
