I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
