I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
