My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
