well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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