You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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