I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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