Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
