I think my vagina is haunted
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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