it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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