Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
