M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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