Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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