South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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