Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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